Shattering my own limiting beliefs

through abstract collage

For the longest time I believed that abstract art and conceptualisation were just not my strength.

I have always been very literal in my interpretations, especially so during university where I studied a Bachelor of Design in Architecture. 

I would unfurl a ribbon down a slope and that would serve as direct inspiration for the form of a building. There was nothing more to it, no deeper meaning or reference point. I stood there with a blank expression on my face when a tutor would ask me why I did so. 

There are an endless amount of courses on how to create abstract art, and yet something tells me it’s not as simple as following a 5 step process. The thought of trying to create something meaningful and abstract in nature with paint, pastels or pencil freezes me in place. 

The second big Sydney lockdown which occurred in 2021 brought with it a time of creative spaciousness.

I challenged myself with a week of no tv and social media in an effort to empty out the noise and tune into my own self expression. To stay sane amidst this sudden withdrawal, I allowed myself to watch one Masterclass video each night. 

On a Tuesday evening, while laying in bed, I opened one of the segments from a Masterclass by Graphic Designer David Carson. I was enamoured by how effortlessly he tore up and pushed around various scraps of paper to create collage compositions that were pleasing to him. There was a sense of freedom and abandon in his approach that really appealed to me. 

As an ardent collector of beautiful paper, I was excited by the prospect of giving his approach a go.

I decided to film the process as a timelapse, with Instagram in mind. Doing so actually made me very self-conscious. I had no idea what I was doing, nor at which point to stop.

My first attempt took hours of pushing paper around until I finally relented and stuck down whatever it was I had. 

It is here that I remember a quote by Paul Gardner: 

A painting is never finished - it simply stops in interesting places.

My subsequent attempts improved as I gradually became more comfortable with trusting my own intuition and creative impulses. It was a practice in discerning what an ‘interesting place’ looks like to me. 

Above : a timelapse video of one of my early collages in 2021

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With found pieces of paper as the medium, the limiting belief I had held onto for so long (around my ability to think and create abstractly), began to crumble before my eyes.

Having something tangible to work with and move around the page took away the fear of a blank canvas. It was like putting together a puzzle with no size or shape limitations. 

Each hour I spend piecing these ‘puzzles’ together fosters a deeper sense of trust in my own inner knowing and untapped potential, inadvertently pulling into the fore a new way of being and expressing.

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The Process

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I begin with no plan in mind.

I spread out the stacks of paper and magazines that I have and allow myself to select and cut out what I’m drawn to.

Sometimes I tear the paper for something unexpected, other times I cut out specific shapes, and more often than not I use scraps that have already been torn or cut from previous collage sessions or craft projects.

It is rare that I end up with the composition or pieces that I started with. The above timelapse video is evidence of that.

I often ask myself what aspect of what I have in front of me I am drawn to and find interesting. I keep that section, remove the rest and begin introducing new elements that I see scattered in the piles of paper around me. 

At times it feels like an out of body experience, as if I’m watching my hands move of their own accord, in tune with some higher power that sees things I cannot, or knows things that I do not.

The wave of emotions that flow through me end up on the page, in the form of colour, shape and composition; subsequently revealing thoughts and feelings that are deeply embedded in my subconscious.

{ In future posts I will dive into specific examples of the above from some of my more recent collages }

The Result:

Above: A selection of early abstract collages from 2021

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The Takeaways

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I am a person who is naturally introspective and drawn to understanding the deeper meaning behind an experience or outcome.

But in this instance I really didn’t see it coming.

The excitement and joy in working with a material that I have a natural affinity with, in a new format, was stimulating in it’s own right. It never occurred to me that the practice would also become a way in which to understand myself on a deeper and more profound level.

Perhaps our joy is the biggest indicator of what is worth doing and exploring. We don’t always need to know where the action will take us or how it will benefit us. The answers to those questions are often revealed as we put one foot in front of the other.

This healthy detachment from outcome leaves room for the magic to show up in the most extraordinary and unexpected ways.

The path to breakthrough is very rarely linear in nature, nor will it show itself through sheer force alone.

I could have pushed myself to persevere with paint or pencil to overcome this perceived limitation that I had, but the residual effects of such an action would have probably caused more damage than good.

It’s fascinating how often we think that choosing the hard road is better and more noble than recognising the avenues of ease that are staring us in the face.

In my case, this avenue of ease is lined with ‘found paper’, of which I have in abundance.